friends come into our lives in all kinds of ways. some stay for years, some pass by for a moment, and some return when life circles back around. but every once in a while, you meet someone who leaves a quiet mark on you. not because they tried, but because something about them stayed with you for a little longer than expected.
i often think of people as oranges. on the outside we all have a layer we show to the world, shaped by where we come from and what we have learned to protect. but once you peel that layer back, you reach something softer. something real. something that needs care. friendships feel like that to me. gentle, honest and full of small moments that only appear when you take the time to look a little closer.
maybe you know this feeling too. the people you meet while workin', travellin', in new cities and areas, at events, or even in passin'. they share something with you without realising it. a thought, an energy, a spark. they might guide you for a moment, remind you of something you forgot, or simply make you feel a bit more grounded. that is what friendships are to me. not a collection of names, but a collection of moments that matter.
on this page you will meet some of the people who crossed my path and quietly shaped my journey. each of them opened a small door in my life. maybe, as you read their stories, they will open one in yours too.
time is not a rule, it is a space
Stoffel is a postdoctoral researcher and film lecturer at KASK, but that is only the surface. he moves between many worlds at once. teachin', curatin' films for Courtisane, hostin' his radio show Shadows of the Unseen, travellin' for cultural projects, meetin' people from all kinds of backgrounds. he grew up near Ypres, in a place where people often expect life to follow a fixed order. by your forties you should have reached certain milestones, they say. by fifty you should know exactly who you are.
Stoffel understood early that this script was not made for him.
there is something about the way he speaks that settles in your mind. when he talks about time, it feels calm and honest. not as a race or a checklist, but as something that belongs to you. something you can shape at your own pace. he reminds you that life does not need to move in straight lines. that growth does not stop at a certain age. that you are allowed to keep changing.
at fifty he speaks about learning with the openness of someone who refuses to shrink into one version of himself. a film he watches shapes how he listens to music. a book he reads changes the way he sees the world. his interests flow into each other instead of staying separate. there is freedom in the way he allows himself to keep becoming.
"i'm an expert of nothing. i'm a specialist of nothing, so I only see that as an advantage."
and somewhere in all that, something simple stands out.
you do not need to follow the order others expect;
you do not need to arrive where people imagine you should be;
you are allowed to move at your own rhythm.
Stoffel also talks about friendships in a way that expands how you think about connection. for him, friendships are a chosen circle, built on curiosity, presence and care. not on roles or expectations. hearing him describe this shows how many shapes a life can take. how wide the world becomes when you stop trying to fit into one model.
this is why he belongs on this Friends page. not just because we crossed paths during a journey, but because his way of seeing the world makes space for others. it takes pressure away. it gives language to thoughts many people feel but cannot express.
people like Stoffel make a trip feel larger than the moment you met them. his words do not stay in the past. they keep moving, reaching new places, shifting how you think long after the conversation ends.
Stoffel reminded me that time is not a rule;
it is space.
and that space becomes real when you let it grow into your own rhythm.
